You want your freedom? Make me cry. (Portal 2)

The ending of Portal 2 made me cry.

I suppose I should offer a bit more introduction than that. This being my first post, there should be a lot more to my first line than that simple statement. But I think it summarizes everything I want to do with this blog quite well. An average game will waste your time. A good game makes you think.

It is only because Portal 2 made me think so much that the ending made me cry.

To begin with, there is so much I want to tell you about Portal 2...so much I have to tell you if you want to understand this post. People who have beaten the game are either very confused, or they are nodding their heads. If you haven't beaten the game, you're intrigued, but also confused. The issue is, in the words of another blog, that anything to do with Portal 2 that hasn't been released at E3 or in a trailer of some fashion is a horrible, horrible spoiler. To tell you anything, let alone explain why the ending made me cry, I have to ruin the entire bloody game for you. And it only came out yesterday. So, since I can't really explain this without ruining the game, I'm going to make a big, bold statement right here:

ANYTHING BEYOND THIS POINT IS A MASSIVE SPOILER FOR PORTAL 2. DO NOT READ THE BLOG ANY FURTHER IF YOU DO NOT WISH THE GAME TO BE SPOILED FOR YOU.

Well now that that's out of the road, let's get started, shall we?

The thing about Portal 2 is that everything is a surprise. After the introduction to the game that was made public, there are almost no moments of complete, out of the world surprise. The best part is that almost everything about Portal 2's massive hype campaign is explained in some funny way. But now I'm just rambling, so let's get to the point. There's a lot of explanation I have to get through before I explain why the ending made me cry, so hang on.

The premise of Portal 2 appears simple at first. Chell, the mute protagonist, awakes from a cry sleep after several centuries (I think the exact date marks it as 200 years, but I could be mistaken). In that amount of time, the Aperture Science facility has pretty much gone to hell and back. After messing around in some old test chambers from the original game, Chell and Wheatley (the personality core that guides Chell throughout the game's first act) accidentally reactivate GLaDOS, the psychotic AI construct that nearly baked Chell, and Portal's antagonist.  From this point, the game proceeds predictably: GLaDOS throws you into test chambers to satisfy her desire for science, with the end result of wanting to kill you in revenge. Simple stuff, really.

Except it's not that simple. Defeating GLaDOS, a feat that took the entirety of the last game, is accomplished by the end of the first act. Instead, Wheatley then takes control of the facility and dismantles GLaDOS. It turns out that putting the friendly Wheatley in charge was a really bad idea though: Wheatley, as a personality core, was designed to inhibit GLaDOS's mental functions and make her make really bad decisions. In essence, Wheatley was designed to be and turn GLaDOS into a moron. As soon as Wheatley takes over, he goes completely power mad, turns GLaDOS into a potato (or rather, hooks her up to a potato battery: Aperture Science AIs can survive on as little as 1.1 volts!), and hurls you deep into the catacombs of Aperture Science's old testing facility. This is not only where the game really picks up its full locomotive steam, but it's also where I think the real game and story are.

As you travel through all the ancient test chambers from the 50s and 70s, you hear the voice of Aperture Science's founder and CEO, Cave Johnson, and his assistant Caroline. The pre-recorded announcements serve to show you the backstory behind Aperture Science's ridiculously inefficient scientific process and give you clues as to how GLaDOS ended up in charge. They also tell the sad tale of a man obsessed with science and outdoing his rivals, and the secretary in love with her boss who couldn't find any better way to show that love than to do anything he desired. Even compiling her brain into a computer and taking over the facility after he died from horrible moon poisoning.

After recovering GLaDOS's potato and carrying her around the facility, it becomes PAINFULLY obvious that GLaDOS is Caroline, Cave Johnson's secretary. She knows Cave by voice and, more terrifyingly (or more touchingly), she responds to Cave's voice and even ends some of the conversations on the pre-recorded messages as though she were there. Through all of this testing and memory reconstruction, GLaDOS begins to take on a more human side, even realizing that you and she will have to fight Wheatley together to stand a chance of surviving. In the end, GLaDOS even admits that you're not her enemy: you're her best and only friend.

And that's what makes the ending so damn sad.

Portal 2's ending song is "I Want You Gone" by Jonathan Coulton, the mastermind behind Portal's "Still Alive." When I first listened to the song, I was happily entertained by how funny, energetic and hopeful it was. "Still Alive" was amusing because of the secrets it let you in on. But "I Want You Gone" is only funny if you take it as it stands. When you think more deeply on the meaning behind the words, it leaves a sad but happy feeling. The lyrics are as follows:

Well here we are again,

It's always such a pleasure.

Remember when you tried to kill me twice?

Oh how we laughed and laughed,

Except I wasn't laughing.

Under the circumstances

I've been shockingly nice.

You want your freedom take it,

That's what I'm counting on.

I used to want you dead,

but now I only want you gone.

She was a lot like you.

(Maybe not quite as heavy.)

Now little Caroline is in here too.

One day they woke me up,

so I could live forever.

It's such a shame the same will never happen to you.

You've got your short sad life left.

That's what I'm counting on.

I'll let you get right to it, 

now I only want you gone.

Goodbye my only friend.

Oh? Did you think I meant you?

That would be funny, if it weren't so sad.

Well you have been replaced, I don't need anyone now.

When I delete you maybe I'll stop feeling so bad.

Go make some new disaster.

That's what I'm counting on.

You're someone else's problem,

now I only want you gone.

Now I only want you gone.

Now I only want you gone.

The second time I listened to this song, I started to cry. It's not that the tune is sad, or that the melody is melancholy. It's actually a very happy song. It's by reading between the lines that you begin to see the sadness in GLaDOS as she sings it. People who have played Portal know that GLaDOS is something of a pathological liar and that she loves to mess with Chell's head. But reading and feeling the words in "I Want You Gone" shows something I never expected: not only does GLaDOS really like Chell and think of her as a friend, but GLaDOS is sad to see her go, even if its for her own good.

The first time you really get a sense of what GLaDOS is truly after by letting Chell go is when you get to the chorus. If you immediately believe that GLaDOS really did delete Caroline from her mind and that she's releasing Chell because Chell is too much of a hassle, then this line is funny. But when you consider that GLaDOS is releasing Chell because she cares about Chell and knows that she will only bring Chell harm, the chorus takes on a hauntingly loving tone. GLaDOS is setting her only friend free because she knows she has to.

"Now little Caroline is in here too" is an odd line for GLaDOS to put in her song, especially considering that she claims to have just deleted Caroline's personality minutes before letting Chell go. This suggests that GLaDOS "deleting" Caroline was merely a ruse: an attempt to keep her image, if you would. She follows this exchange with the fact that she will live forever and that it's a terrible shame Chell will not. This can be taken two ways: GLaDOS is taunting Chell, because she'd never be able to live long enough to satisfy GLaDOS's need for science, or that GLaDOS is expressing sadness that she will live long after her only friend is dead and gone.

The final piece of the song however, is the most heartbreaking. GLaDOS pulls a classic here: she tells you that she doesn't need you anymore and that she's replaced you while she's getting you out the door and on to your new life. She's pretending that she doesn't need Chell anymore, because that makes the feeling of pain easier to deal with. The final line before she launches into the chorus anew is: "When I delete you maybe I'll stop feeling so bad." She wants the pain to go away, because she can't bear having to let Chell go.

There was another blogger who once suggested that GLaDOS was really a captive. A tortured psyche trapped within a machine that wanted nothing more than to test all the time. With this ending song, I believe that interpretation. GLaDOS might be axe crazy and desire to see all her test subjects die (for science!), but the relationship she has developed with Chell makes her do the unthinkable: let one of her subjects go. She releases Chell to free the girl from the tortures of Aperture...and because it's just the right thing to do. After all, what's that old saying?

If you love something, set it free.